


Weapon of Power

by thatnerdemryn



Series: Em's Kinktober 2020 [19]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Aftermath of Torture, Bondage, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, F/F, Gunplay, Handcuffs, Kinktober 2020, Post-Episode: s09e14 200, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27214858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn
Summary: “I trust you, Emily. I know you don’t make mistakes, not when it comes to me or my safety, and I think I need this to stop the nightmares that keep plaguing my mind,” JJ stated and even though her hand was still trembling, her voice was smooth as she stared into Emily’s eyes. Emily considered her for a moment before repeating her earlier question.“What exactly do you want me to do, Jennifer?” JJ seemed to straighten at the use of her full name but Emily noticed the tremors in her hands had ceased as she nodded.“I want you to bind my hands together and point your gun at me,” JJ said and just when Emily thought that was it - a simple task that Emily thought she could go through with - JJ added, “and I want you to make me come while you do it.”
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Series: Em's Kinktober 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948495
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	Weapon of Power

**Author's Note:**

> For Kinktober Day #25 - I chose _Gun Play & Bondage_. 
> 
> Please read the tags - This fic involves the use of gun play in order to assist JJ in her trauma recovery. While safety precautions are taken during the fic, in no way do I believe this type of play is safe nor do I have the credentials to tell you that this is effective in coping with trauma. 
> 
> Read responsibly, take care of yourself, and enjoy!

Emily cursed as she fumbled with the keys to her door, but how was she supposed to focus with JJ’s arms wrapped around her waist and smooth lips attached to the back of her neck? Said lips chose the perfect moment to brush against the shell of Emily’s ear, a whispered moan leaving JJ’s soft mouth just as Emily pressed the key into the doorknob. 

“Thank Christ,” Emily whispered as the two toppled in through the door, grasping at each other frantically as the door slammed shut behind them. JJ grabbed Emily’s hand and tugged her closer, a satisfied smirk on her lips as Emily crashed into her. 

“Damn door,” JJ said with a noncommittal shrug of one of her shoulders. Emily narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend before using her hips to maneuver her until her back hit the table in the entryway. She wrapped one of her arms around JJ’s waist and lifted her until she was seated on the table meant for their guns and badges, JJ’s legs instinctively wrapping around Emily’s thighs. They rested just under the holster clipped neatly at Emily’s waist but JJ didn’t seem to care as she pulled Emily closer with her feet. 

Emily leaned forward and captured JJ’s lips in hers, both of them sighing into the long-awaited kiss. They had been awake for almost 20 hours before they caught the break in the case that they needed and the entire team had fallen asleep on the jet back from Utah before Emily had a chance to kiss JJ good morning or goodnight. She hated the days she spent without the ability to taste the berry chapstick that always coated JJ’s soft lips. 

JJ’s hands wandered up Emily’s arms before they threaded through her dark hair, holding her head in place as JJ tilted her head to push her tongue into her girlfriend’s waiting mouth. Emily gasped in surprise at JJ’s sudden forwardness, her hands snaking up JJ’s back to haul her closer. She hesitated when her palm pressed against the cool metal of JJ’s gun attached to her hip, an abrupt reminder that they were both still armed and very dangerous. 

“Baby, hey,” Emily said as she pulled away, watching as JJ chased after her for a few moments before pouting at the loss of Emily’s lips on hers. 

“Why are we stopping?” JJ asked breathlessly as her hands ran through Emily’s hair softly, smoothing the strands she had tangled with her fingers. Emily unclipped the holster of JJ’s weapon and set it down on the table beside them, tossing JJ’s official badge after it. 

As Emily moved to discard her own gun, JJ’s hand laid lightly on top of hers and when Emily looked closely, she noticed a slight tremble. Her eyes darted to JJ’s and where she expected to see fear or anxiety, she was shocked to find intrigue coating her girlfriend’s beautiful blue eyes. JJ sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it as if considering her next words. 

“You know I’ve been working hard with my counselor to get through the, uh,  _ trauma-- _ ” Emily hated how JJ gulped at the word as if it made her nervous but let her carry on without interruption, “--that Askari and Hastings put me through.” Emily nodded and brushed a few stray strands of hair off of JJ’s forehead before letting her hand settle delicately on her arm. 

“You have,” Emily agreed. With a tilt of her head and a raise of her eyebrows, she hoped JJ would continue. JJ licked her lips and glanced away from Emily, an old habit that still hadn’t been broken even through her girlfriend’s best efforts. Emily moved a hand to JJ’s face and swiped her thumb underneath JJ’s suddenly tear-filled eyes before pressing a wordless kiss to her forehead. 

“I was talking to one of the other agents in Group and she mentioned something she had tried to overcome her torture,” JJ trailed off with another audible gulp bobbing her throat. Emily continued to stroke gentle fingertips over JJ’s skin as she waited anxiously for her girlfriend to continue. 

“You know you can tell me anything, Jayj,” Emily said after a few moments of silence. JJ nodded abruptly and took a deep breath, straightening her shoulders as she finally let her eyes connect with Emily’s. 

“I still flinch when someone unholsters their weapon around me,” JJ admitted with a disbelieving laugh. “Can you believe that? I consider the team family and yesterday, when Spencer unholstered his gun to protect me when the unsub snuck up behind us, I flinched away from him and almost blew  _ everything.”  _

Emily shook her head and said, “No one blames you for--” 

“This woman,” JJ started and Emily closed her mouth as it was very uncharacteristic for JJ to interrupt her, “she said the final hurdle for her was to have her husband tie her up just as she had been by her captor.” Emily suppressed the gasp that threatened to spill from her lips as JJ stared at her, her deep blue eyes glistening like the ocean. “I did some research on, uh, gunplay? And I thought that maybe--” 

Emily couldn’t stop herself from backing away just slightly and she regretted her instinctual move when JJ’s eyes widened in fear. Emily kept her hands on JJ’s knees as her legs dropped from around Emily’s waist, stopping her from jumping down from the table. Emily shook her head and held up a finger, leveling JJ with a simple gaze so she could have time to think. JJ nodded in response and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth again as she laced her fingers together tightly. Emily could see her knuckles whitening from the grip she had on them. 

“You have to tell me  _ exactly _ what you have in mind, Jayj,” Emily started as she rubbed her palms against JJ’s thighs to calm herself and hopefully her girlfriend in the process. It wasn’t that she was against the idea, but she had known it was one that came with hardcore repercussions if they approached it with anything but the utmost communication. If she could help JJ through the leftover trauma of those few days, she was willing to try anything. 

“I didn’t really--” Emily raised her eyebrows in disbelief that JJ hadn’t at least had  _ some _ idea and JJ sighed in response as she let her head drop, her eyes glued to the floor. “When I was being tortured, my hands were handcuffed together the entire time and Askari used every form of torture he could think of,” JJ said, her voice unwavering and a chill raced down Emily’s spine at the solidity of it. “At one point, they dragged Matt into another room behind a door that I couldn’t see. I-I couldn’t save him or beg for his life. Then there was a gunshot. I didn’t remember that last time I jumped at the sound of a bullet, Emily, but when the gun went off, it felt like I was breaking.” 

Emily pressed closer to her girlfriend as a single tear tracked down her cheek, kissing it away before any more could fall. “You don’t have to explain all of this, baby,” Emily said, but JJ shook her head fiercely. 

“I do, just-- Let me?” JJ asked and Emily nodded slowly, resting her hands back on JJ’s thighs to rub soothing circles against the fabric. “Hastings gave me the worst torture of all, threatening to impregnate me like I was a goddamned animal, but the part that sticks with me is--” JJ took another deep breath to compose herself and rested a hand on the holstered weapon beside her. She drew out the weapon and ensured the safety was on before she brought it to the back of her head, holding it with a quaking hand. “Askari held a gun to my head -  _ right here _ \- and made a mistake. The man had a gun to my head and was still  _ stupid _ enough to make a fatal mistake,” JJ spat.

Emily reached for the gun JJ had pointed at her head and removed it from her shaking hand, but JJ held Emily’s hand tightly in her grasp and didn’t allow her to put that gun back where it belonged. “Jayj, please,” Emily said as JJ peered up at her. 

“I trust you, Emily. I know you don’t make mistakes, not when it comes to me or my safety, and I think I need this to stop the nightmares that keep plaguing my mind,” JJ stated and even though her hand was still trembling, her voice was smooth as she stared into Emily’s eyes. Emily considered her for a moment before repeating her earlier question. 

“What  _ exactly _ do you want me to do, Jennifer?” JJ seemed to straighten at the use of her full name but Emily noticed the tremors in her hands had ceased as she nodded. 

“I want you to bind my hands together and point your gun at me,” JJ said, and just when Emily thought that was it - a simple task that Emily thought she could go through with - JJ added, “and I want you to make me come while you do it.” Emily’s breath caught in her throat as her eyes widened but never strayed from her girlfriend’s that slowly filled with hope and desire. 

“Okay,” Emily said after a moment of consideration. JJ seemed surprised by the quick answer, but there was nothing Emily wouldn’t do to make JJ feel safe and  _ okay.  _ “I will do it but I have a few conditions,” Emily said with a raised eyebrow. 

JJ nodded and breathed out a quiet, “Anything.” Emily placed JJ’s weapon in the drawer under the table before pulling her off of the table she was still sitting on and leading her to their bedroom. She surveyed the room before guiding JJ to the edge of the bed and gesturing for her to sit which JJ did easily. 

“You are going to unload my gun yourself and then I’m going to check it -  _ twice _ \- before we start.” JJ nodded and held up her arms as Emily slid the cotton material of her shirt off of her body. “If at any time this gets to be too much, we need a, uh, safeword?” Emily questioned because as much as she and JJ weren’t  _ boring _ in the bedroom, they had never needed something as extreme as a safeword before. 

“A few of the articles I read said to use ‘red’ as a safeword. Easy to say, very obvious that it has been said, if that works for you,” JJ said shyly, her face reddening as Emily unsnapped her bra and tossed it aside. Emily let her thumbs brush over JJ’s pert nipples before she worked on the button of JJ’s pants. 

“Red it is, then,” Emily said with a nod as she tugged JJ’s pants down her legs, pulling her black lace panties with them. Emily loved that JJ always wore pretty underwear even when her girlfriend might not necessarily see them. She had known the simple material had made JJ feel beautiful and powerful. She smiled at her girlfriend as she stood to undress herself, her hand hesitating over her holstered weapon. She took a deep, steadying breath before handing her gun over to JJ. 

“You can use the safeword, too,” JJ said softly as she pressed the release on the magazine and it slid out onto the bed. Emily unbuttoned her shirt slowly, nodding as she thought about JJ’s words. Emily hadn’t really considered what effect the idea could have on her, but really, her mind was focused on JJ. She would always put JJ before herself, but she appreciated her girlfriend’s words nonetheless. JJ checked the chamber, pulling the slide back a few times just to be sure, before holding the gun out to Emily. 

Emily finished removing her blouse, opting to keep her black tank top on, before sliding her pants down her legs. She was dressed just a bit less glamorous in her black boy short underwear, but JJ still looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Emily carefully grabbed the gun from JJ’s hand as her girlfriend placed the magazine on the bedside table before propping herself against the headboard and pulling her knees to her chest. 

“Here,” Emily said as she tossed her handcuffs to JJ. She wanted to be sure JJ had known she was in control and she honestly wasn’t sure that she could bring herself to use the handcuffs she’d taken murderers in on her girlfriend even if it was JJ’s idea. JJ nodded wordlessly as if she understood and snapped the cuffs into place, tugging her wrists apart as if testing them. “They’re not going anywhere,” Emily teased as she checked that the gun was unloaded a few more than two times. 

“What should we do with my hands?” JJ asked as she glanced at Emily, her posture relaxing as Emily took control and grabbed onto the chain connecting her hands. Emily felt her heart stutter at the trust JJ was giving her as she pulled the cuffs over JJ’s head slowly. JJ watched closely with wide eyes as she rested them on one of the pegs that protruded from the top of the headboard. “Handy,” JJ joked, a small breathless giggle leaving her lips as she let herself sag against the bed so she couldn’t tug her hands from their position. 

“I have one more request,” Emily whispered as she pressed her lips to JJ’s forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally on her lips. JJ hummed into it, her eyes fluttering closed at the softness of the kisses. She nodded as she looked up at Emily with hooded eyes. “You promise me that this won’t change how you feel about me,” Emily said. It was a fear she didn’t know she had until she was faced with the possibility that the trauma JJ had been trying so hard to work through might cause her to lose her girlfriend altogether. 

Without a thought, JJ whispered, “Never, Emily. I love you, even more so knowing that you trust  _ me _ enough to do this.” Emily nodded and took a step back to give them both a moment to prepare for what they were about to do. Emily waited for JJ to give her a silent okay and once she had closed her eyes, Emily walked back to the bed and knelt beside her. 

Emily pressed the barrel of her gun to JJ’s palm first and if Emily wasn’t so nervous, the small gasp it elicited from her girlfriend’s lips would have intrigued her more than terrified her. She shook her head to clear it before she dragged the metal down the length of JJ’s arm and rested in along her shoulder. At that point in her career, JJ had memorized every aspect of their government-issued weapons so Emily had known JJ was heavily aware that the barrel of the gun was pointed at her head. Emily watched carefully as JJ’s chest rose and fell and Emily saw no indication of panic. Her heart fluttered at how brave her girlfriend was. 

She ran the cold metal across JJ’s collarbone before sliding it down JJ’s sternum slowly, pausing only when JJ’s breath caught in her throat. Her eyes remained closed and from what Emily could tell, she was still calm even as she ran the barrel around the sensitive skin of her nipple delicately. A hiss left JJ’s lips but Emily couldn't be sure if it was from fear or arousal as the nub hardened. JJ bit her lip as if holding back another gasp and Emily smiled softly to herself. 

As if JJ couldn’t help herself, she arched into the slow movements of the metal as Emily dragged the barrel down her stomach, JJ’s hands tugging at the cuffs that hung above her. Emily saw her demeanor change quickly as the realization her hands were bound seemed to push to the forefront of her girlfriend’s mind. JJ’s eyes squeezed shut as if she was in pain and Emily removed the barrel from JJ’s skin until she inhaled sharply and deeply. When JJ’s eyes opened, she sent Emily a grateful glance before nodding at her to continue. 

Emily pressed a gentle kiss to JJ’s stomach as she settled herself between her girlfriend’s legs, JJ spreading them to accommodate her as Emily pressed the gun to the inside of JJ’s thigh. Another breathless gasp left her lips, but that time, JJ’s face was contorted in nothing other than pleasure. Emily bit down on the inside of JJ’s other thigh, sucking a dark bruise into the skin as she slid the top of the gun underneath JJ’s knee as a simple request for her to bend it. JJ complied easily and Emily rewarded her by swiping her unoccupied hand up her stomach and cupping JJ’s breast in her hand. 

JJ moaned deeply and when Emily glanced up to watch her, she saw bright blue eyes, pupils blown with arousal, staring down at her. Emily reveled in how beautiful JJ looked with her arms bound above her head, completely at Emily’s disposal because that’s how she wanted to be. It wasn’t often that Emily had felt powerful, but in that moment, dominance surged through her. She took the chance, as she continued to see trust in JJ’s eyes, to slide the gun against JJ’s stomach and point it at her head. 

Emotions seemed to flood through JJ’s eyes at the new position, but nothing could mask the pleasure clear as day as Emily flattened her tongue against JJ’s clit and lapped at it slowly. JJ’s eyes slid shut as she tugged at the restraints but they opened quickly after as if they couldn’t stand to look away from what Emily was doing to her. Emily slid her tongue in perfect circles over JJ’s clit before pressing a few chaste kisses to the swollen nub so lightly, they could be seen as teasing. 

“Em,” JJ breathed, elongating the final letter as a moan overtook her. Even with the gun pointed right at her face, JJ’s eyes stayed locked on where Emily’s mouth met her core. Emily felt a rush of satisfaction as JJ’s hips started undulating against her as if begging for more. 

“You’re doing so good, Jayj,” Emily praised because she couldn’t help herself. She was so proud of JJ and she had known her girlfriend deserved to hear it, especially in that moment. JJ turned her head away when her eyes connected with the gun and Emily took that moment to slide two fingers into JJ’s dripping hole, twisting and curving them until JJ had no choice but to look back at her. 

When their eyes met again, Emily surrounded JJ’s clit with her lips and sucked sloppily, the sounds of slurping only second to the moans of pleasure pushing from her girlfriend’s mouth. Emily let the cold metal rest on JJ’s stomach as she focused her attention on stroking over JJ’s most sensitive spot as her tongue lapped at the juices JJ had to offer. 

Emily felt JJ’s muscles start to contract against her fingers as she pressed the weapon harder against JJ’s skin, hoping the pressure would remind her girlfriend of why they were doing this. JJ pulled against the restraints as her eyes darted from the gun to Emily’s mouth and back as if struggling with something deep inside of her. Before she had a chance to panic as Emily had expected her to, Emily sucked JJ’s clit into her mouth and nibbled softly as her fingers pounded against her g-spot. 

JJ’s climax swelled inside of her as she writhed on the bed, tugging at the handcuffs that bound her. She threw her head back against the headboard and it hit with a loud thud as a guttural moan erupted from her lips. Emily didn’t slow her fingers as they stroked inside of her and continued flicking her tongue over JJ’s clit hastily to pull every moment of pleasure from her girlfriend as she could. All the while, the gun pressed against JJ’s stomach, the barrel now aiming at her head. 

JJ hadn’t seemed to notice it anymore, too focused on the bliss surging through her veins and the ecstasy clouding her mind as her eyes seemed to roll back inside of her head. Emily had never seen anything more beautiful than when JJ came and the fact she could provide her with such pleasure never ceased to convince her of how lucky she was to have JJ’s trust and love. 

When JJ started to relax, her body trembling in the aftermath of her orgasm, Emily tossed the gun to the floor and settled herself beside her girlfriend. She raised JJ’s arms just enough to remove them from the headboard and JJ threw them around Emily’s neck, pulling her into a tight hug before Emily could remove the restraints. Emily held her back tighter when she felt JJ’s tears on her skin. Emily pushed away the guilt that threatened to fester in her heart, focusing instead on comforting JJ in whatever way she needed. 

“Thank you, thank you,” JJ repeated over and over as sobs wracked her small body. She curled into Emily as if her arms were the safest place she could be and Emily kissed her head and whispered just how much she loved her girlfriend into her hair. JJ nestled her face into Emily’s neck, pressing a few gentle kisses there once she started to settle and Emily took a deep breath in to compose herself as JJ glanced up at her. 

Emily sent her a warm smile and brushed a few tears from her face before whispering, “What can I do?” JJ shook her head and leaned forward to connect their lips in a slow, gentle kiss, their lips brushing against each other as if that’s all they were meant to do. When JJ pulled away, she smiled up at Emily, and Emily’s breath caught in her throat at the first glance of genuine happiness she had seen on her girlfriend’s face in too long. 

“You did  _ everything _ , Emily, I--” JJ huffed out an unexpected laugh as she raised her arms and bent her elbow before pouting at Emily. “Can you get these off of me so I can hug you properly?” JJ asked, her voice breaking with emotion every few words. Emily nodded and reached for the key on the nightstand, relieving JJ of the handcuffs only for JJ to hold her face delicately in her trembling hands. 

“Jayj,” Emily started but JJ shook her head and pressed their lips together once more. Emily could taste the salt from her leftover tears and it pained her heart enough for her to pull away. “Please, just -- tell me you’re okay,” Emily begged as she pulled JJ further onto her lap and cradled her close. 

JJ nodded emphatically and grinned at Emily before saying, “I don’t know that I’ve ever been better.” Emily gaped at her girlfriend, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion before she gestured at JJ’s tear-stained face and shaking body. 

“You don’t  _ look _ like you’re okay,” Emily challenged, but JJ just shook her head and stroked Emily’s hair as she had always done when she felt Emily’s anxiety rising. Emily couldn’t help but laugh at JJ’s instinctive need to comfort her even at that moment.

“I love you,” JJ said simply as if that answered all of Emily’s questions. It hadn’t, but Emily was more than happy to let the explanation rest while they caught up on sleep. 

“I love you, too, Jayj,” Emily said as she pulled the covers over both of them and placed one final kiss to JJ’s forehead. 

Emily couldn’t help but notice that after JJ fell asleep in her arms, she slept through the entire night for the first time since either of them could remember. She wasn’t sure if JJ had gotten what she needed, but Emily had been more hopeful than she ever had been to wake up to JJ’s bright, smiling face in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, please feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](https://thatnerdemilyj.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thatnerdemilyj/).
> 
> Kudos make me smile and comments make me weep, so please leave them!


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